Online Dating Virgin

Description

10 Tips for Dating Safely on the Internet

Internet dating was once considered a refuge for the socially inept and sadly desperate, advertising and searching for Mr. or Mrs. ”Right” (or Mr. or Mrs. ”Right Now”). But times have changed. Internet dating has fast become a way of life for single adults - and the numbers are staggering! It has also created a massive shift in relationships - speeding them up and intensifying them. And along with offering more and different opportunities than real-time love, it brings a totally different set of problems.

The three A’s: Good News and Bad News:

ACCESS

Good News: It's immediate and it's in 24/7, and while in real-time dating you could never date 30 people in one night -- with online dating you can

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Bad News: You may think you're dating someone special, and he or she may be dating 30 people at the same time

AFFORDABILITY

Good News: Gone are the days of laying out tons of cash to learn the basics about someone. For less than $25 a month you can meet hundreds (if not thousands) of potential dates. In fact, most sites offer either a trial free membership to test out the service and even, limited free membership ongoing. Check out these two hysterically funny dating sites, Dating Republicans and Dating Democrats.
Bad News: There is none. This is a cost efficient way to meet people, and weed them out without having to meet them and spend money on dates, clothes or just as importantly, wasting time.

ANONYMITY

Good News: Cyber connecting feels safe because you’re behind a computer screen and it is largely nameless, allowing you to be as open or closed as you like.

Bad News: Some people are dishonest. Cyber connecting feels safe because you’re behind a computer screen and it is largely nameless, allowing you to be as open or closed as you like. Remember, this works both ways.

BOTTOMLINE There’s no longer one type who’s logging on...we all are. But with all of the thousands of people clicking their way to love it’s tougher - and more important than ever to really know how to navigate all the profiles out there...and how to not only make your own profile stand above the rest, but to be selective, smart and safe.

Ten Commandments of Dating Safely on the Internet:

1. Thou shall not play games. Searching for a mate or a significant other is serious business. Treat others honestly and fairly. Remember the Golden Rule, ”Treat others as you would like to be treated.” You can be playful, but not harmful. Leading people on or giving them false interest can get you into trouble. Some websites have chat rooms or message boards and you can get a reputation as a tease or dishonest person. If someone doesn’t meet your expectations or it just doesn’t work out, let the situation go and move on. Keep from trying to seek some ”revenge” or ”getting even.”

2. Thou shall be creative, BUT... Everyone wants to look appealing in his or her profile, but don’t over do it. Being too provocative or suggestive can attract the wrong people. Don’t be too revealing. Give your prospective dates something to wonder about. Be friendly and upbeat and show your positive traits, but don’t be overtly sexual, or use double meanings to sell yourself, it could lead to trouble if you meet.
3. Thou shall go slowly. Everyone who is searching, is anxious to find someone, however, keep things in perspective and do not jump at everyone who shows interest. Set standards and try to stay with them. Don’t compromise; there are lots of people out there.

4. Thou shall be informed. Make sure you ask pertinent questions of your prospective date. Don’t be afraid to do a little research to check out the person before you set a meeting. Ask about where they went to school, where they work, and where they lived. Never assume anything; it is even ok to ask how long they have been single or whether or not they've been married and for how long. They may lie, but give them the opportunity to answer the questions truthfully.

5. Thou shall protect yourself. Do not reveal too much information about your personal life in your profile. If you have kids, especially small children, it is wise not to include them in photographs that you post with your profile. Do not reveal your last name until you are sure this is someone you want to get to know. Communicate through the dating service website initially, until you feel comfortable enough to give out your own personal e-mail. Once you have established a mutual ”connection” set up a phone call. Hearing a person's voice and the way they express themselves can be very revealing. Then if that generates interest you can plan the all-important first date. (You can check out my book, 50 First Dates for some great ideas!) Viewing profiles is completely free. Earn money from profile videos. The adult chat site Emerald Chat features video chat. Men can chat with female models.

6. Thou shall be honest above all else. Never over overstate your background or qualifications, it can come back to haunt you. You want to start a new relationship on solid ground. If you don’t want to reveal every detail about yourself at this time, that’s fine, but don’t exaggerate or lie about things. Just as you should be honest, expect the same from your date. Speaking of which, if they are evasive or seem to be holding back on questions you have, don’t be afraid to push a little for more satisfying answers.

7. Thou shall be smart. Remember the conversations that you have shared with your potential date. If there are contradictory stories or if your potential date tells you things that don’t make sense, be prepared to end things.

8. Thou shall not put oneself at risk. When planning the first meeting, choose a public or popular place. Don’t isolate yourself. Provide your own transportation or have a friend take you to the meeting place and pick you up.

Make sure you let someone know about your date and where and when you are meeting.

Make sure you remain in control of your senses. Don’t do anything that could impair your decision making process, like drinking too much.

9. Thou shall trust thy own instincts. Even though you might be nervous about meeting someone for the first time, if you should have serious doubts, be prepared to call the date off or if you are on the date, don’t be afraid to excuse yourself and end the date. Especially, if the facts that he or she is telling you on the date start to not add up, or if your date presents an image that is negative and frightening.

10 . Thou shall not reveal too much. Just as if you were meeting someone for the first time in a bar, at work, at school, or in any social setting, you probably would not reveal everything about yourself all at once. While on the Internet, you have the element of anonymity for as long as you need it. Reveal information as the situation dictates, but take things at a reasonable pace. Do not give out too much personal information (for instance your address) and do not post photos of your children - especially if you are a single mom. It is very easy to get caught up in a fantasy, make sure that you separate wishful dreams from reality.

Sources

1. https://training.coursekey.com/eportfolios/2543/Home/Best_Dating_Websites_to_Find_a_Gay_Sugar_Daddy
2. https://lms.escapps.net/eportfolios/2196/Home/How_to_Find_a_Gay_Sugar_Daddy
3. https://lms.macnet.ca/eportfolios/4935/Home/A_Simple_Guide_to_Gay_Cruising_Apps

Début de l'événement 30.06.2022

Fin de l'événement 30.06.2022

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]]> Mon, 30 Jun 2025 16:27:15 +0200 Indecision

Indecision

Description We Lived Separate Lives
We Were Living Like Roommates
The Real Reason You Haven't Found Your Perfect Partner
Why Aren't You Married? Facing Your Love Alibi
Ever Have A False Positive In Dating?
When Love Manifestation Turns Into Mani-Frustration
Are You Discounting Yourself In Love?
Ordering Love Like A Latte
Looking For A Quick Fix For Your Love Life?
Impatient for Mr. Right?

I am at an impasse. See, the beauty of this blog is that no one knows who I am. So I can rant about dating disasters or wax poetic about my latest crush. Freely even, because they’ll never know. So what then happens if I meet someone as an indirect result of it? I mean, you know, someone who reads the blog?

See, if I go on about developing a school girl crush on him, he’ll know. And if I get the slightest bit optimistic, he’ll see me breaking all my rules. And if I end up being kind of excited about a new possibility, he’ll know I’m not as guarded as I seem.

It breaks all the rules in more ways than one. I have never attempted to use the qualifier “too” so often when describing one person. Too young, too far away, too impossible… and yet. Last night for the first time in I can’t even remember how long (except I can and the truth is even worse) I stayed up way too late talking on the phone just hoping not to hang up yet. And when we finally did, I may have seen him in my dreams.

So he asked what I would call him here and I said I didn’t know. I still don’t. Like I said, I’m at an impasse.

Début de l'événement 15.04.2023

Fin de l'événement 15.04.2023

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]]> Tue, 15 Apr 2025 17:46:27 +0200 blog

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]]> Sun, 13 Apr 2025 02:05:57 +0200 Nervous

Nervous

Description There’s No Such Thing as a “Good” or “Bad” Marriage
A Married Man Needs Only 3 Things From His Wife
I Am Not The Caretaker of My Marriage
10 Guilty Pleasures For Couples
The Man Behind How I Have It All
14 Ways Having Kids Affects Your Relationship
Love Rewards the Brave
The Book That Changed the Way I Look at Love
When Divorce Runs in the Family
The Silence That Can Save Your Relationship
Is It Ever OK to Lie to Your Spouse?

Finally – TC will be arriving back in town late tonight, after having been away all week – and I’m nervous.

All signs seem to point towards things going well between us – we talked and e’d regularly while he was away, and while he wasn’t quite as romantic / effusive as he was in person, he did include a “miss you” at least once. But there’s a part of me that still feels that I should be prepared to expect the worst, that things might be different when we see each other again. Can’t explain it. I’m just afraid to get too excited about him.

I’m normally an optimist (too much so!), and generally don’t worry about things until I’m actually given reason to do so. It seems that having quite a bit of dating disappointment in the past two years has made me rather cynical – so unlike me. It’s a strange feeling – I don’t like it.

I think it’s not helping matters that I gained nearly a pound this week (didn’t write about it because it was too depressing!)AND I’m experiencing a wicked PMS. (hm, maybe the weight gain is because of that). In a nutshell, I’m not feeling my most confident.

I suppose the usual advice applies here – wait and see. TC and I have plans tomorrow night – wish me luck! (what to wear, what to wear??!!)

Début de l'événement 10.04.2024

Fin de l'événement 10.04.2024

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]]> Thu, 10 Apr 2025 17:26:21 +0200 My new boyfriend.

My new boyfriend.

Description My Dead First Husband Is Haunting My Marriage
My Husband Is Ashamed of Me
My Husband Barely Talks to Me Anymore — So I Cheated on Him
My Husband Is a Big Bore
My Husband is a Compulsive Gambler
My Husband Is Depressed
When Your Boyfriend Flirts Too Much
When "Taking It Slow" Feels Like a Red Flag
The Ethics Of Breaking Up With A Sick Partner
State of the Relationship Union
Widowed and Dating: Navigating Sympathy and Honesty
Love vs. Security: Can You Build a Future Without That ‘Spark’?
What Really Counts as Cheating?
Polyamory Dating or Just Playing?

I have a new boyfriend, and he's been occupying nearly all my free time these past few weeks. His name is Don Draper.

I was a bit late to hop on the Mad Men phenomenon -- but once I did, it was full steam ahead. Netflix couldn't get the DVDs to me fast enough -- I had to start downloading them from iTunes. Every night, I was sucked into the goings-on at Sterling Cooper. On weekend days, entire afternoons were devoted to the latest drama between Don and Betty.

FINALLY, I'm caught up! I watched all three seasons in as many weeks, and I'm relieved to have my life back. I did manage to have a few real-life dates in the meantime -- updates to follow soon. There's even one guy who has my attention more than the others (besides Don Draper, that is -- our relationship has nearly run its course, as this season is about to end).

One last tidbit of amusement:

A few days ago, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I didn't pick up. I then received this text from the same number a few minutes later:

Hi, it's Joe Shmoe from a few years ago. I have a crazy idea, and would like to discuss if you have an open mind -- if you know what I mean.

Background: "Joe" and I dated about 3 years ago (pre-blog) for a few months, but it was never serious. It just didn't have the makings of a great romance. (or even a not-so-great one, for that matter)

I texted back asking for details, and he said it was easier to discuss on the phone. I called him, more out of curiosity than anything else -- he said that he got married last year, and he and his wife have been talking about having a threesome, and would I be interested?

I laughed out loud, and sarcastically thanked him for thinking of me, but it just wasn't my thing. It's especially bizarre because he does NOT seem like the kind of guy who would be into that at all -- I recall that he was a pretty straight-laced, button-up kind of guy.

Check back in a few days for updates on Mr Cool, Smooch, a new guy I shall dub "Captain Awesome", and someone who will simply be known as "Sourpuss". (just one guess on how well that date went!)

Début de l'événement 02.04.2024

Fin de l'événement 02.04.2024

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]]> Wed, 02 Apr 2025 15:29:33 +0200 Playing the Game vs. Enjoying the Night: A Better Approach

Playing the Game vs. Enjoying the Night: A Better Approach

Description Marriage vs. Addiction: Winning the Battle for Love
Marriage Without Intimacy: Can Love Survive the Distance?
Holding On or Letting Go: When Addiction Tests a Marriage
The Marriage We Almost Lost: How Unemployment Changed Everything
Marriage And Chaos: Finding Common Ground in Parenting
He Seemed Interested. So Why Didn’t He Call?
Online Dating Isn’t Desperation
Changing Your Dating Approach
Why Modern Dating is More Complicated Than Ever
Dating Someone With Debt
Marriage vs. Parenthood: Life After Having a Baby
The Fine Line Between Casual Dating and Commitment
How to Handle the Truth After Discovering a Betray

It’s all fascinating to me. :) This is part of why going out is fun to me and why I progressed decent. A lot of guys, especially older Manosphere types, just hate people in general…they want pussy but they hate all the “work” they have to do to get it and they view it all AS “work”. Guys like the RSD instructors are just out fucking around having fun expressing themselves and enjoying making people react and getting to know them and take them on adventures and stuff. That’s the right attitude, ultimately.

No one reads a bitter Manosphere guy’s post and is like “man, I’d like to hang out with THAT guy all night and introduce the cute girls in my social circle to him!” lol It’s more like “I like the guy’s writing, he has some valid points, but fuck what a negative piece of shit”. :)

“We all were talking in a circle for a bit, and then there was the idea to dance.”

lol fuck I hate dancing. Girls always jump at the chance. Tyler used to joke, when the Black Eyed Peas were new, “Do you have any idea how many times fucking Andre 3000 has cockblocked me??” lol Soon as a song comes on the girls go “OMG OMG OMG LETS GO DAAAAANCE!!!!” and it’s like fuuuuuuck sarge is blown lol

“In my mind I’m like ‘fuck this, I’m not running a race with these two chodes.’”

Good. If you don’t LOVE dancing, like you wouldn’t go to a club JUST to dance, then if you’ve got heavy kino with a girl and it’s later in the night and the dance floor is crowded enough that you can isolate her from her friends a bit and the attraction is there that you feel like you can escalate to sexy grinding and become a “couple” for the rest of the night afterward, cool, go dance with her. But if it’s anything less than that, you’re just shooting yourself in the foot and killing attraction while you dance 2 feet away from her feeling insecure and you’re all in a circle facing eachother friend-zone style.

At least if you just vanish, you’re still a little mysterious and she can wonder what dancing with you would be like.

I actually sometimes go “Okay ya let’s go” and let everyone else walk in front of me to the dance floor and then before I get to the floor I just veer off and go somewhere else and talk to other people or get a drink or go to the bathroom etc. and don’t go onto the dance floor to join them at all lol It makes the girl go “wait what? Where did YaReally go??” and it’s not much but hey, she’s thinking about me and it gives her a reason to re-open me when she sees me later (“hey how come you didn’t come dance??”) where I might be able to build some more attraction and escalate and dance with her on my own terms if I want to dance.

Début de l'événement 27.03.2022

Fin de l'événement 27.03.2022

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]]> Thu, 27 Mar 2025 17:52:04 +0100 Mr. Denial

Mr. Denial

Description How a Meddling Mother Nearly Ruined My Marriage
How We Rebuilt Our Marriage Through Therapy
Saving a Marriage After an Affair
Can Marriage Survive Infidelity?
Is Your Marriage a Partnership or a Prison?
Keep Him From Walking Out That Door
Managing Expectations in Dating
Why I Believe In Marriage
Dating Advice From Happily Married Couples
The Man or the Money
Walk Away From Parental Control in Relationships
When You’re Stuck in the “Casual Dating” Zone
A Necessary Courtesy or Just Overkill in Online Dating?

Since my last post from Boston, I’ve relocated to Ithaca, NY for my sister’s graduation. While I am thrilled to be here for her commencement activities, all this family stuff has temporarily put a stop to my man-shopping until I leave for New York City tomorrow morning. So until my NYC adventures begin, I’ll try to amuse you with more ramblings about the Parisian scene.

According to my personal field research, many anglophone women — particularly American women — will have trouble communicating certain things to their Parisian suitors. This kind of miscommunication primarily revolves around the idea that anglophone women spend most of their waking hours turning down Parisian creeps, and said Parisian creeps spend most of their time in denial of this fact.

The best way to illustrate this particular anthropological phenomenon is with this handy chart that I’ve drawn up for you.

As you can see, dating in Paris can be fraught with misunderstandings.

A while back, I speculated that my lack of success on the Parisian dating scene could be due in part to an inherent language problem. But after the epiphany that resulted in the above chart, I now also believe that liaisons between anglophones and francophones could potentially be doomed for reasons that have nothing to do with language.

Simply put, Houston, we have a cultural problem.

For whatever reason, dating rituals here require the men to act like ass-hats and, unfortunately, the women seem to put up with them or egg them on.

I haven’t been able to figure out how to beat the system, so to speak, but I’ve a number of friends who have offered their advice on the matter. My buddy, Martin, who has long been baffled and concerned by the absurdity that is my love life in Paris, only had four words for me:

“Stop dating French guys.”

However, even though I agree with him in principle, in practice, I’m not going to stop dating Frenchmen.

It’s not that I’m determined to have a relationship with a Frenchman.

It’s just that I’m having so much fun with this blog.

And come on, you know that you love reading about these Parisian ass-clowns* that I meet.

So when I return to Paris next month, it’s on to the next…

…French-tard!

*This great new addition to my vocabulary has come by way of my friend, Iroquois Pliskin. He has quite a way with words, and he and his brother have introduced me to wonderfully useful terms like “skank-pronging” and “schmo-hawk.” I tip my hat to their skilled wordsmithing.

Début de l'événement 26.03.2023

Fin de l'événement 26.03.2023

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]]> Wed, 26 Mar 2025 17:32:59 +0100 Completely Random Friday Thoughts

Completely Random Friday Thoughts

Description Surviving a Long-Term Affair and Saving a Marriage
Transforming Communication and Parenting in a Troubled Marriage
Healing a Marriage by Confronting Insecurities and Building Trust
Religious Differences and Strengthening Marriage Bonds
The Affection Gap: Bridging Emotional Distance in a Long-Term Marriage
Workplace Dating Detours
When Blind Dates Go Wrong
Comfort Vs. Fulfillment In Modern Dating
Demanding Respect and Openness in a Relationship
Get Outta My Dating Pool
Seeking Clarity and Connection in Dating
Gym Flirting 101
Finding Balance in Love After Loss

I had to share a couple stories with you that made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants. Because of my reaction to these tales I am almost 100% sure I am doomed to an eternity in hell. Heck-I want to be where the party is so I'm okay with this.

The first was when my grandmother told me her friend in Florida had gotten lost driving home from the old age home her husband was in. I know this is sad, but the lady drives this route every day and has for months...so her brain fart was my comedy fodder. I can’t help picturing this little old lady lost in the bowels of sunny, friendly, Florida.

Apparently she straight up panicked and called their other mutual friend Duchess (yup, that’s her name) freaking out. Now, she only made a left instead of a right on Rt. 19 and in no way was she in danger…so I feel I can laugh at her. She just kept right on driving, despite nothing looking familiar and never once thought to turn around and try the other direction. She also never considered stopping for directions despite the fact that her initial confusion started around 4:30 and well within daylight hours there.

My grandmother is describing her panic and the calls to Duchess and she is laughing too and then scolding me because, “Getting old and forgetting things is not funny! Wait till it happens to you.” Um, when it happens to me I fully expect people to laugh at my wrinkly ass! She does not have Alzheimer’s; I’m not totally cruel, she just wasn’t all there that day.

My Yiayia tells me that she was directionally confused because, and I quote, “Well you know she only has one eye.” Um…WHAT!? No, I did not know that Penny had one freaking eye. I’m sorry…what!? I lost it. I am picturing an old lady in a Florida style muumuu with an eye patch and lost in broad daylight when all she had to do was pull a U-ey. I mean…come on! That shit is funny. She was afraid to make a u-turn because she only has a left eye and was afraid she wouldn’t see cars coming from her right. Why is this woman driving!? A rant on old ass drivers that I will surely explore later! Her friend directed her to make a U-turn and she made her way home. End of story…but come on!

The next gem from today came from my friend Jacki who was cornered at by a drunken co-worker that we both went to college with…and then followed her into the work force. This guy was gaga for Jacki in college and had no shot then, nor does he now. He was the typical lacrosse player, cocky, slutty with snake like charm, and overall dirty. No way in hell is Jacki touching this guy…and she has told him as much. So even though he has been with his girl (who was married when the relationship started and has since divorced her husband) for 3 plus years he decided to drunken text her from across the bar table last night.

I believe the texts read something like this:

Guy: Are you in? You know I like you!
Jacki: No!
Guy: Come on…you know I’ve always liked you.
Jacki: Yes, we’ve been over this. I have never and will never like you in that way.
Guy: Why do you fight what we have?
Jacki: Because we have nothing and you are entirely too drunk to be having this conversation with!

The texting stops for a while but Guy proceeds to shadow Jacki all night long. When the party is wrapping up and the cabs have been called, Jacki, who drove and doesn’t drink, went to walk out to her car. Guy decided this would be the perfect time to invite himself back to her place. Jacki tried nicely to tell him to go back inside and that he was not invited back to her house. He proceeded to grab her and pull her towards him. She re-tells the story of her almost snapping her neck to keep her face away from his and I believe her.

The thing is, this guy was a notorious manwhore in college but never once did you hear the ladies saying, “You have got to sleep with Guy, he will rock your world in the sack.” Or anything of the kind. I can only assume this is because he was about quantity over quality and never having to work for pussy never had to work to be good with the pussy. If he was renowned around campus as being a great lover I’d tell her to take one for the team so we could all know what it was like…and being the dear she is…she’d do it…but no…that’s not the case.

Why do guys assume that getting drunk, professing their love, and getting pushy will work. Like we are supposed to say, “That’s right. Thank God you got stupid drunk and demanded I admit my feelings for you. You are so attractive in this state. Please, please take me right now!” That will never happen. That is not an attractive quality in a man.

So these are the two stories that made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to die. I had tears streaming from my eyes and cramps in my side. I am aware that laughing at these situations makes me a horrible person…and today I am okay with it.

I am off to see lights with Re and her son, then out for a girls night dinner followed by the bar with friends. I am hoping for laughs and good times. I’ll be sure and fill you all in on how the night progresses. J Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

Début de l'événement 24.03.2024

Fin de l'événement 24.03.2024

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]]> Mon, 24 Mar 2025 17:51:40 +0100 How to make a man feel like a man.

How to make a man feel like a man.

Description He Went to War and Came Back a Changed Man
Unmasking Hidden Unhappiness in Marriage
Workaholic Heartbreak: When Success Costs Your Marriage
Recession Realities: When Financial Stress Tests a Marriage
When Unemployment Tests Marriage
Movies That All Women Should See To Understand Men
Love Lies and Responsibility
The Dating Mishaps of the Ladies of Love Twenty
The Black Male Preference Privilege
Anatomy of a Great (Reality) Relationship
Your Rear End or Your Pride
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
(Broken) Laws of Attraction

I know I have mentioned some the flaw of women to romanticize men and their relationships with them. Fictionalizing things in our heads is, in my opinion, or number one curse. We search for this “true love” our “soul mate” and we will not settle for less, so when we find a man who mostly fits, we just make up the rest in our heads until they are complete. It’s a horrible habit. Here is another thing that we do that is detrimental to our own happiness.

Women want (well we never really know…but I’ll discuss that at a later date) a man who will support her, love her unconditionally, be her best friend and her equal in all things. Here it is ladies…it’s probably not going to happen! Men just don’t think the way we do…and unless as a gender we decide to band together and starting with this new generation, breed young boys to think like women so that sometime in the future they can be the “perfect man” for some lucky lady…it’s just not going to happen! The sooner we, not only realize this, but accept it, the better!

As women we need to be smart enough to seek our support and understanding from them, but also from our close girlfriends. Women who think their man should be the one to tell secrets to, talk about every small detail of their day to, complain about co-workers, tell them that their age/weight/hair/clothes are perfect, that it’s okay to be annoyed with their nagging mother/mother-in-law, are insane! Do NOT get me wrong, your man should be somebody that you can trust, that you can go to with things, that you can talk to, but he is not your girlfriend.

Men do NOT think the way we do. When you come home and say I had a bad day at work, so and so isn’t treating me right, they want to charge in there and confront them because that’s how they’d solve the problem if it was them. Well…you aren’t them. You just want them to listen to you and say, “Honey, I’m sorry. That must be so hard for you.” Newsflash…not gonna happen ladies. That’s what your girlfriend is for.

You tell a man a problem and they want to fix it. If you tell them a problem they can’t fix, or that you don’t want them to fix, they’re just going to be frustrated. More than that they will also feel like less of a man for not being able to help you the way they’d like to.

This brings me to another issue that, for whatever reason, women keep forgetting. The number 1 rule is to make your man feel like a MAN! This has nothing to do with women’s rights or gender equality…if you think it does you are stupid. Sorry, but you are.

I consider myself to be an independent woman. I fend for myself for the most part. I rely on myself to pay bills, make big purchases, to do home repairs, and most importantly, for my own happiness. I do not “need” a man but I sure as shit want one. I love them! They make you feel pretty, desired and cherished. They smell good either straight out of the shower or after a day of yard work. When I’m upset nothing makes me feel quite as good as being held tight against their chest. Nothing will ever make my heart race quite like a man who wants me. And, nothing will ever make me melt like a man who places his hand on the small of your back, EVER. This can take place when leading me into a room or standing in a group talking to others while stroking you lightly there. There is something about that act that is both gentlemanly and sexy; that makes me feel safe and treasured. For those and many other reasons a man in your life (the right man) can be so nice. Like I said, I’m okay alone but there is a certain joy that comes with sharing your day with somebody special.

I don’t need all the bells and whistles of chair and door holding, although it is nice, but I will tell you, when a man subconsciously walks on the outside of the sidewalk (closest to the street), because that’s what a gentleman does…well that’s just cute. For me, it’s those little acts, acts that most people may not even notice, that slay me. Loving these things does not make me any less a strong woman. And, stroking a mans ego by asking for help with something I could manage on my own isn’t weak. Let him hang that picture or check your tires air pressure. Make sure he knows that his strength, his “protector” capabilities are needed and appreciated, because that’s the way he shows you he loves you, and that’s how you can show him you love him in a way he’ll understand. It’s important he feels invaluable to me, because he is, in so many way’s he’ll never understand or appreciate.

I love to give my man backrubs. I love to give my man space (Hey, I need my own too!). I love to do things he loves to do, like watch a sports game, go shooting, go fishing; mostly because I love these things are well. It's important for him to know you desire him. Send him a sexual text randomly in the middle of the day so he knows you can't wait until he gets home to you. Kiss him unexpectantly. Initiate love making. Praise, sex, and beer...it's simple ladies! I love to make him happy…because let’s face it…if he is happy…so are we.

I think if more women remembered this and got off their high horse they’d be a whole lot happier. Relationships would be more stable and men would feel fulfilled and less likely to cheat…but that’s just my highly un-expert or research based opinion.

Strong women are sexy; don’t give that up; just know how to make him feel like your world. Men are, in my opinion, just larger sized boys who still want and seek approval from the women in their life. A “Baby, what would I do without you.” lets them know how much we love them. No harm done to us ladies.

Début de l'événement 20.03.2024

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]]> Thu, 20 Mar 2025 17:44:10 +0100 From Roommates to Soulmates: Reclaiming Passion in a Long-Term Marriage.

From Roommates to Soulmates: Reclaiming Passion in a Long-Term Marriage.

Description He Had an Affair Because I Stopped Initiating Sex
He Makes Me Feel Bad About Being Fat
He Lost Interest in Our Marriage
Saving A Marriage: He Lost His Job
He Lets His Mother Rule Our Lives and I'm Sick of It
Commitment Jitters
Love and Lust: When Chemistry Outruns Endurance
Bi Bi Love
Dealing With Your Partner’s Bedroom Confessions
Can His Squalor Be Squelched?
Asunder Down Under
Conquering Long Distance Dating
Coveting a Coworker

Although, any sane woman should run from him away as fast as she can.

And yet, most of those women don’t. Because the women who pursue men like you’ve describe base his value on quantity, not quality. They’re the women who jump at the chance to commit and end up with the cheaters, crash and burners and emotionally bankrupt. In short, they’re the women who scoffed at the 36 year old guy whose longest relationship was 6 months, but thought nothing of the men who commit after a week.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 3

Reply
JS says:
February 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Re-read my post….I didnt say the men who dont commit are shitbags. I said:

“I am not saying that the guy WHO COMMITS is a great guy or even a good guy. He could have numerous multi-year relationships under his belt but still be a SHITBAG and an awful, cheating, abusive boyfriend. Or maybe he’s just a lame, mediocre, ambivalent guy who tends to take his women for granted. Or maybe he’s actually a great boyfriend.”

My point is while it is true that just b/c someone commits doesnt mean they are great boyfriends. The men who dont commit….dont commit.

And what is wrong with a man going out with a woman for 3-9 months or 2 yrs and realizing “hey we dont work for a life-long committment”??? Would it be better that be married the wrong girl? No of course not. And yes, the work-hard/play hard guy who never commits may be holding out for “the one” or hasnt found anyone worth committing to or is picky ….OR one should see their actions for what they are…indicative of their lack of desire/abililty to commit.

Début de l'événement 18.03.2023

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]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2025 17:25:08 +0100 Are You Fighting Too Much or Not Enough? The Balance of Healthy Conflict

Are You Fighting Too Much or Not Enough? The Balance of Healthy Conflict

Description He Cheats on Me During Business Trips
He Cheated with a Woman from the Gym
He Dotes On His Son and Ignores Me
He Didn't Know How to Listen to Her
He Flirts Too Much
Marriage Advice: 13 Lessons
Separate Vacations Don’t Have to Mean Divorce
Are Soul Mates Fact or Fiction?
Love vs. Parenthood: When the Perfect Partner Doesn’t Want Kids
Caring for Dad Is Destroying My Marriage
First Date: Who Pays and What It Really Means
Dating a Dad: When You Like Him But Not His Kid

Cali Bradshaw
March 22, 2011 at 8:12 pm #
Hahah I love sarcasm! I had to laugh a little too as I re-read the comments last night. Such anger! And all on a little pink blog. Come on kids. I am not writing a thesis here on the truths of the the world.

Completely agree that what it comes down to is being thoughtful and considerate AND about the part about wanting a man who will take charge of a date. I love when a guy calls me up and suggests a date, time and place. It is extremely attractive to know he has put so much thought into me already. And yep, once you are in a “real” relationship – that’s a whole other set of rules.

Thanks for the comment!

Reply

Ross Felix
March 22, 2011 at 1:45 pm #
It’s no surprise to me that this topic has stirred up such a debate. You’ve got guys who are “doing it wrong” so to speak who are getting a rude awakening, you’ve got guys who feel vindicated for paying, and you’ve got women on both sides of the issue.

As I see it there are only two issues in dating that possibly would get more reactions, “Why am I a slut if I sleep with him on the first date, whereas he’s awesome for doing it” or “Can I date my friend’s ex?” (And before you slam me about the sex comment, I do believe what’s good for one gender is good for the other.)

Début de l'événement 17.03.2022

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]]> Mon, 17 Mar 2025 16:53:45 +0100 When Your Kids Don’t Like Your New Partner What Should You Do

When Your Kids Don’t Like Your New Partner What Should You Do

Description Is He Assertive or Just Angry?
Why I’m Done Playing by Traditional Dating Rules
Modern Romance: The New Dating Rules
Can You Spot the Four Types of Men Out There?
What to Do When a Friendship Becomes Toxic
How to Take Advantage of Being Single
He Acted Like He Was Still Single
Following My Dream Nearly Cost Me My Marriage

Cali Bradshaw
March 22, 2011 at 4:57 am #
Excellent moral of the story.

Reply

Lo
March 22, 2011 at 5:16 am #
Um, can I date Single Steve? :) Winner.

Reply

Cali Bradshaw
March 22, 2011 at 5:18 am #
He’s the bestest! And he even shared it on his fan page where I am getting a lot of nice comments and support. My night just got a little bit better :)

Single Steve
March 22, 2011 at 6:39 am #
Single Steve is single…

yohami
March 23, 2011 at 3:31 am #
Steve, check the shit test thing at hooking up smart

Reply

Single Steve
March 23, 2011 at 8:13 pm #
“check the shit test thing at hooking up smart”
Um, what?

Cali Bradshaw
March 24, 2011 at 2:12 am #

Début de l'événement 14.03.2022

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]]> Fri, 14 Mar 2025 16:28:58 +0100 The Struggle of Finding Genuine Connections in a Hookup Culture

The Struggle of Finding Genuine Connections in a Hookup Culture

Description We’re All Slutty For The Right Guy
Dear Men: This Is Why Loyalty Is So Important To Women
How Do You Avoid Dating a Liberal/Conservative?
Are You Looking For Fast Love Too?
Should You Fake an Active Lifestyle for Love?
When a Relationship Feels Like a Secret Mission
Pushing Through It
Embracing The Unexpected Path Of Singlehood
Why Is It So Hard to Believe Someone Might Stay?
Am I Crazy Or Is He A Hot Mess?

Let’s get one thing straight: the purpose of sending one of these Venmo invoices is not to get the money back. While I believe dolts like this man are stupid to some degree, they can’t be that stupid. These requests are essentially thinly-veiled attempts at extortion, as the person sending it (usually a man) know the woman won’t pay, which in his mind gives him permission to stalk and harass her. These stories aren’t funny anymore, not after the nightmare experienced by this woman. To summarize, a man filed a civil case in court to get his $20 back allegedly because the woman was texting during a date. Now, do you really believe that’s the reason? Because I don’t. I think this man-baby got his feelings hurt, so he decided he was going to make her pay, not with money, but with her reputation and safety. It’s time for news outlets and venues and fucking Venmo (whose brand is quickly becoming associated with this nonsense) to draw a hard line here. Enough. Yeah, sure, you might get some publicity out of it and your brand name might get some exposure, but at what cost?

See, men like this know they can’t beat us up for rejecting them without going to jail (well, sometimes) so they go another more passive aggressive route. They think, “I know, I’ll threaten to publicly shame her. That’ll teach her for turning me down.” It’s an act of revenge, pure and simple. For the folks in the cheap seats, let me remind you that a man seeking revenge never really ends in the woman’s favor.

Now that we’ve covered that, let’s address – AGAIN – that if you just sit there waiting for a man to pay that check, you’re an asshole. I don’t care what your Mom or your girlfriends told you about chivalry. Screw chivalry. You are not entitled to a free anything because you graced someone with your presence. So what if he chose the place? That means nothing. You met on Tinder, for fuck’s sake. The chances of dates borne from a dating app like Tinder or Bumple turning into something substantive are pretty small and we all know it. Stop acting like you’re Kate Middleton.

As for those of us who re-tweet and share stories like this, consider first publicly calling out news organizations and payment platforms like Venmo for enabling this misogynistic bullshit.

Maybe I’m just a sourpuss, but I’m having a really hard time appreciating the new “Feminist Frank” meme, just like I had a hard time appreciating the “Feminist Ryan Gosling” meme. I guess it boils down to this for me: It’s a lot easier to say the right things and look like a feminist than it is to actually do the right things and be a feminist.

Début de l'événement 11.03.2022

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]]> Tue, 11 Mar 2025 17:30:07 +0100 Webinaire exceptionnel

Webinaire exceptionnel

Description qsdfghj

Début de l'événement 04.03.2025

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]]> Tue, 04 Mar 2025 14:55:37 +0100 OnceMarried is on the money on the issue with children

OnceMarried is on the money on the issue with children

Description The Top 10 White Lies People Tell In Online Dating Profiles
Things I Wish I Knew About Dating When I Was 22
8 Reasons You’re Single
Let’s Talk About Negging
What Are Your Pre-Date Nerves?
10 Things You Should Never Say To A Man In Bed
8 Things Men Want Women To Do In Bed
9 Things I Dread About Dating
I Wasn’t Jewish Enough

OnceMarried is on the money on the issue with children. I’d rather see their daily learning and growing everyday than just dump-out and contribute to whatever might happen to them in my absence. So yeah, staying married for them is not a cop-out as everyone says. There are reasons why some of us stay and that is a good reason.

20-Year Vet6 years ago
Great blog and great comments. I identify with so much of what is said on both sides of the issue. I have been married for going on 18 years, 3 kids, picket fence, etc… I live in a nice neighborhood and travel a lot for work. I know a ton of men who do the same and are all over the spectrum on this issue.

I read about Tinder in an Esquire Mag article a month or two back (wish these aps exsisted when I was a kid;) and I have to say they sound very entertaining. It is hard not to download it and just see what the hype is about, i’m sure there is more than just single 20 something’s on there.

Anyway, here is another perspective on why men wander even when they have a good marriage. For me I grew up in the 80’s in Hollywood, CA. I was into the early punk and alt scene and I loved going to music festivals, concerts, and clubs. I stayed interested in these things all the way through to today. This is just a snip-it so you can get an understanding of where I am coming from as I dont want to leave a novel on your blog.

Forward 20 something years later, I am not religious and my wife has gone extreme the other way. My kids are now being taught things that I do not believe or stand for. Its a slippery slope. I still love concerts and music festivals but now I go to them by myself (I would much rather go with my wife). I did not grew up with money so a big house and things are not important to me even though I am able to provide them. These things are very important to my wife. She has surrounded herself with friends that are conservative and religious and dont get me wrong, I am social and I enjoy their company , but I have to watch what I say. I on the other hand hang out with music festival, band, tattooed type people that she will not be around. I enjoy travel, outdoors, shows like the Following, Lost, etc but I find the older we grow together the less we have in common besides our kids. This is just some very surface background. It is hard to go from doing everything together to a relationship that has become very one sided. I do most of the things she wants to do so we keep our relationship in tact, but she will not do anything that I enjoy doing.

Début de l'événement 25.02.2022

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]]> Tue, 25 Feb 2025 10:22:35 +0100 niggling feeling that I needed to look back

niggling feeling that I needed to look back

Description I Travel The World. Alone.
An Internal Monologue While Perusing Online Dating Matches
How To Hook Up In A Hostel есть 100 дубликат на frisky
How Do You Know When You’re Ready To Vacation Together?
How To Enjoy Travelling When You’re Not On Your Honeymoon
I Fantasize About Other Men
Why It’s Easier To Meet Men On Vacation есть 100 дубликат на frisky
If You’re 300,000 Miles Away, Don’t Call Your New Man
Will Our Marriage Survive Our First Road Trip Together?
When On Vacation ... Just Say Yes

I unfriended him on FB after he bailed out on plans to spend time together on his days off. He didn’t even bother to cancel, just didn’t call or text. He finally contacted me late that night and said he’d been playing video games. I didn’t handle things well, but he just refused to work through any of it. It was like “shit got real” and he didn’t want to deal with it. All that talk of love just went out the window, and I became the one with the problem. I was untrusting, I needed to do some soul searching, I wasn’t ready for a relationship.

When all this went down I had this niggling feeling that I needed to look back at the dating sited so I re-enabled my profile. He wasn’t online right away, but then BAM….there he was. Apparently he hadn’t actually deleted his profile either, just disabled it. He was online for days around the clock and then “poof” disabled it again. After talking to the wonderful staff at OKC, I realized that I had just encountered a scammer. He was probably back online duping the next woman. Love bombing her within mere minutes of ending us. So moral of the story. I’m an idiot. I fell for all that “commitment” stuff, and got someone who had no intention of having a real relationship and who didn’t really “love” me afterall.

I know I am probably going to get picked apart on this one, and that is okay. I just want other woman out there to realize that there are men out there that are really good at pretending to be unicorns to get….I don’t know what…. Sex, I guess. Don’t be like me and give away the farm when a man dangles that “commitment” carrot, thinking you are something special……until he proves that to you. And that takes time…….Maybe this guy really wanted a relationship and just doesn’t have the tool kit to actually keep one together. Or maybe he was just a no good liar who never had good intentions to start with. But either way he’s F&(*d up….def f’d up.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1

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Wtf Says:
February 11th, 2015 at 6:15 pm
Why is anyone taking advice from this woman who is 44 and single?

“At 44 I have come to terms with the reality that marriage is probably not in my future. I would love to say that this was my choice all along. But I can’t.” – http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/details/2013-05-your-life-might-not-look-the-way-you-thought-it-woul

Début de l'événement 21.02.2022

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]]> Fri, 21 Feb 2025 10:27:47 +0100 smoking who are unwilling to date

smoking who are unwilling to date

Description Why Sex Talk On a First Date Is a Bad Idea
Is He Interested or Just An Attention Whore?
Never Give a Man More Credit Then He’s Earned
Stop Accepting Bad Behavior From Men
When Do You Ask A Guy If Things Are Serious?
Is She Doomed To End Up Alone?
Why The “Hot” People In This Article Aren’t Worth Dating
When You Get Dumped Sometimes You’re To Blame, Too
Never Double Down On A Guy Who Can’t Guarantee He’ll Stick Around
How To Deal With The Push Pull Guy
Who Has More Luck Online – Men or Women?
The Tell Tale Tatt

BTownGirl Says:
April 3rd, 2014 at 12:03 pm
Goldie, it took me FIVE tries to quit, so I get exactly what you’re saying. I couldn’t date a smoker personally because I’d wind up starting again. I totally agree that being honest and respectful about these things is the way to go!

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 0

Reply

G. Says:
April 3rd, 2014 at 12:35 pm
In fairness, they’re both as bad as each other but it’s a classic sign of an insecure guy with no dating options. Instead of dating the women he wants, he just goes for whatever comes his way and tries to change them into what he wants. I don’t agree with doing this.

so first off. 8 weeks ddoesn’t make a lasting relationship. If I was given an ultimatum after 8 9weeks about something which long predates meeting that person I’d walk too. Now if I was dating them for 2 years and suddenly developed a smoking habit. Sure, their input is relevant but not after 8 weeks. If he doesn’t like smokers it’s irresponsible to date a smoker and change them. Same goes for anything. If you don’tlike your partner sky diving. DDon’t date a sky diver.

on her side though.. same. At least she was honestand ddidn’t try to hide it or anything that’s a plus. The flip side is that every smoker does have a plan.. I know. I’ve had a plan for 4 years.. lol. So she can’t really be upset with people who don’t like smoking who are unwilling to date her unless thisplan comes to fruition .

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 10 Thumb down 5

Reply

Yvonne Says:
April 3rd, 2014 at 1:14 pm

Début de l'événement 19.02.2022

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]]> Wed, 19 Feb 2025 10:41:20 +0100 Coin du feu Helene

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]]> Fri, 14 Feb 2025 12:47:50 +0100 Coin du feu Helene

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]]> Fri, 14 Feb 2025 12:47:16 +0100 Coin du feu Helene

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]]> Fri, 14 Feb 2025 12:46:38 +0100